I have no idea about anything anymore.

-Alice?  Alice? Hunny, are you ok.? – she said desperately, looking deeply in to my eyes.
It felt, as if she was able to read what I was thinking.  Like if the worried, blocked out gaze, could penetrate in to the deepest part of my mind.

-I’m fine, I’m fine – I replied hesitantly, wiping away the salty tear from under my eye.

- It doesn’t seem so, are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?

As if I was going to tell her, as if she would understand.  

-I’m fine, whatever. 

She walked out, I don’t really care what she was thinking, I don’t really want to talk to her.  She could have as well went and hung herself  too.  
I looked out the west window, the sun was slowly dissolving into the horizon. It’s been two days now, I haven’t drank , ate or slept. I just sat. What’s the point of living anymore? It’s all my fault he died, it’s all my fault he hated himself. It’s all my fault he committed suicide. I glanced at the swing in the back garden, it’s where I’ve last seen him.  I felt like going down there, pulling the swing off, burning it. Burning, just like my lips and eyes burn now.  I feel pain, I like the pain, I want more pain. I want to pay back for  what I’ve done.

 * * *

that thing above, it's just a random piece i've written. i might finish it off one day. you can finish it off yourself if you like.

I haven't been here for a while now, you didn't miss me though. This is just a random page with like 10 post describing boring moments of some evenings.

I'm with one of the kittens now, i'm full of chocolate and sorrow. I'm mad at people for things they haven't even realised they have done. I'm mad that my friends don't care.

Other than that, things are great. So you can't enjoy that i'm worse than you.

Snow

Oh yeah, it snowed again :) For some kind of a reason, i love snow. I wouldn't mind having it around for longer! It never gets boring, you can wear all the clothes you love, and the school is closed!
Whats not to love? :) I have to decide of what to do with this blog...
I don't have time but i want it to be something!

* * *

Nareszcie! Znowu pada śnieg. Z niewiadomego mi powodu, kocham śnieg! Bardzo bym chciała żeby został na troche dłużej. Nigdy mi się nie znudzi... Można założyć wszystkie ulubione ciuchy naraz. Oraz moja szkoła jest zamknięta :D Czego tu by nie kochać? Muszę zdecydować co zrobić z tym  blogiem,

nie mam czasu ale musi się dziać!

Grrr, nie lubię tłumaczyć z ang na polski :P

Po polsku



Yasmin, Ja(z miną na rogala) i Martha

 Dzisiaj napiszę wam coś po polsku, cieszycie się prawda?




Zaczęły mi się ferie, tygodniowe. Mid'term rocks!



Dzień był jaki był, skończyło się z objadaniem się w MacDonald'zie.



Lubie Ciasteczka Nestle :)



W domu jest tyyyyle słodyczy że niewiadomo od czego się zabrać :)



Peace, Hope and Ice-cream! :*

I don't have a clue

I don't think i hae a good day. I feel terrible though as nobody did anything.
I'm just not feeling well. Too much on me! Too much.

I love Ireland, I love the friendliness of some people. The green, the rain and the hills. The sea, the cattle in the fields and the well build roads. The safe towns, the wonderful language.
I don't like the simpliness of some bitchy girls, the boredom in small towns, the fact about living far away from your beloved best friends. And no way to seeing them at the weekend.

I miss Poland, my family, my friends. The bitter coldness of the Polish winter, and the golden leaves of the Polish Autumn. I miss the misery and the streetlamps. The warmness of the sun in July and the food.
I hate the scary guys following me from one place to the other, the jealousy and unacceptance.

Nothing can satisfy me, right?
How yee keeping?

Co u was loves?

I'm not back.

I just had a good thought, but as usually I forgot what I was going to write!?
Anyways, I've been good. And this post will be about nothing really?
I want to get my life sorted, have more time, ambition and fun. I'm a lazy person though, not very lazy... but still not that organized. Want to give me another 24hrs each week? 
I might pay! :)
Damn'it, forgot what i was going to say. Lame.

See you around.

Photos and more weekendy stuff :)

That was a lovely weekend! I missed my beloved horseridding but i had enough fun with the girls :)
We went to the Italian restaurant and got so many treats! It was great!
One thing that really touched me is that im seen to be 'just a foreginer' to people who don't really know me. I didn't think that my accent so noticable, i want to hear the truth but don't move too far if you don't have to!
I am a bit different! so what? :)
I have some more plans now so enjoy the photos!

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 I will add more later, my internet is too slow :(

3. About everything really.

Another week has really passed me by, with school on one side and some travel and work on the other. Yesterdays horseridding was just crazy, galloping through the forest with branches hitting my face and legs flying out the stirrups. I've been in Waterford, did a make over for Carol, went down town and to mass were i've thought of a very cool idea for a post here, but it will take time and i hope it will be worth it. Now im just watching tv doing nothing for the whole day, the kittens are leaving and there is only two left, but that is life and you cant change it. Have a nice week people